Sora's Musings

Dreaming

Thu, 01 May 2008 21:36:28 GMT

Last night I woke up twice, both after dreams about Natalie. First one was that on her sheet were literally hundreds of ladybugs. There was this huge ladybug, with an egg sack on it its back and the regular sized ones, and little teeny weeny baby ones....and all I could think was "there are too many to just pick them all up and put them outside...what am I going to do with all these ladybugs?". Naia was there, picking them up especially the big one with the egg sack. I wanted to make it so Natalie could go to bed....trying to figure out a way to get them all off without hurting them. Then in the second, I am all over Vancouver Island looking for Natalie....well there was more than that, but it's too long and complicated to write out. So Nat, you are definitely on my mind!

Ya, I know...not very exciting. More exciting...a violinist I know has arranged this gorgeous string quartet for the song Cindy and I wrote. It sounds....so so so good. I am so excited I could pee myself. Well, not really. But REALLY excited. I am not sure people really pee themselves from excitement. Dogs....yes. Humans....not so much...at least I have never seen it. But I digress. We are going to add a bass line, some percussive elements and hopefully record the vocals some time this month. YEA! It's going to sound so great!

I must have more news, but my brain is foggy with tiredness. Always so tired...what is WITH that?

My first merch!

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:38:16 GMT

I just got the picture of my merch in my inbox! They are being sent tomorrow...once I get them, I will get some beauteous silk ribbons to put them on....

MERCH!

33!

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 01:22:24 GMT

First of all, THANK-YOU to everyone for all your awesome birthday messages. I feel seriously loved today and the feeling for each and everyone of you is wholeheartedly mutual. Love you guys!

33. Know why 33 is a great age to be? Because I am old enough to not really care about what other people think, but still be young at heart! Because 3 is an awesome number, the trinity, the triple goddess, the triangle, the triskele...and when you add ANOTHER 3, it's just magnified! Because even though I have so so so many white hairs (I don't call them grey anymore, because honestly mine are white, not grey), but STILL have people say "you could not possibly have 4 children, you look too young). Because I have 4 children and still feel young. Because I am recording a frakking CD...a next level CD and have this intense passion for it that shines like a light in me. Because I am not jaded. Because I can cry about caring too much. Because I still give myself away without holding back. Because I can still rock with my friends and go crazy...and not have to worry about getting grounded when I get home :). Yes, 33 is awesome. No flipping 29 forever for me. Nope, I am 33! WOOOOOO

OK...so I have to write this thing...this coverish letter thing conveying the following...

"Please also describe the overall tone, feel and intent of the album. This letter will be your cover letter addressed directly to the FACTOR jury. It should also describe what you feel is unique and valuable about this project and the integrity you intend to pursue it with. "

I cannot even come up with the first line. And I need to have it done this weekend. AHHHHHHH!
Why, why can't I write this stuff?

I am in my pjs right now....and it feels good...I am thinking of going back for seconds on the cake....mmmmmmm....cheesecake icecream cake.....mmmmmmmm....

Who wants a purple room?

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:25:56 GMT

Well, K does! Ask and you shall receive...this is what we spent the weekend...and the beginning of this week doing...

Look at me in my hideous painting clothes, looking very bad...look at Karina posing with the paint brush (she actually helped paint almost all of the room), looking very suave and fashionable. Hehe

The flower border around the window...yes there will be trim...one day...

Yup, that's me straddling the old ladder.....awesome. You know you love it...

The girl loves her new room, what can I say?

OK...so how cute is this...after the last major painting round, I go upstairs to have a shower. I am in there, and K comes in the and is talking to me. I am like "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU HONEY". Her "I said I LOVE YOU MAMA". That's all I need to make a weekend of painting all worth while

Something is on my mind

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 22:44:48 GMT

ever since I had my bros over for a sibling fun night with collective spouses. I asked my brother how his trip to see my grandmother was...and he and his fiancee were talking about how great she is...how she just says it like it is. Then they used the example of my cousin, saying how my grandmother showed them the picture of her wedding dress, (wedding is in 2 weeks) and said "now here is the dress, but picture it 2 x as wide". My brothers all laugh and say how big she is, and I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable. I get this feeling that people don't think "fat" people should feel proud of how they look, or of what they wear. It feels like there is this whole conversation that sits around the implication that fat people should go out of their way to conceal to the best of their ability their size. Only some dresses are "suitable" for fat girls. I mean it's bad enough to make fun of someone because of their size, but there is this unspoken vibe that feels like fat people should feel ashamed. That pisses me off. Don't get me started on the conversations I have heard about how my cousin is such a pretty girl, but would be lucky to find someone who would want to marry her because of her size. What the fuck kind of comment is that to make about someone? That comment says "you are not lovable because you are fat and therefore your worth is determined by your body mass". As a girl on the plus size of things, I find that offensive. In the extreme.

I was really bothered by my brothers talking about her like that. I wonder, do they think that of me as well, considering I am the biggest person in my family?

I had an epiphany when I was in my 20s. My mom had always told me how fat my aunt was, even when she was young. She had always said that she "ended" up with my uncle because boys didn't want to take her out because of her size. I was going through my mom's early photo albums one day and saw the picture of my aunt at my mom's wedding, and thought "OMG, she isn't fat at all, she was NORMAL". In fact at that time in her life, she looked like a size 10 or so. Beautiful. My aunt did gain a lot of weight, and I always knew her as quite overweight, until she got wickedly sick a couple of years ago and went from a size 26 or something to a size 6. Back to the epiphany..I was just struck by how skewed my mom's perspective was on the weight thing. I was struck by how very judgmental they were, almost disgusted by my aunts fatness. I had always just accepted that before, but suddenly in my mind, I saw how wrong that was.

The concept that someone overweight is unlovable is so destructive and cruel. And seems so false...why do people buy into it?

It's baby time!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:07:14 GMT

No, not me...I know what you were thinking when you read that title. Shame on you! I am SO done. But enough about moi, Megan had her baby last night! A very beautiful baby boy named Ripley Jax Moffat Charbonneau. I was called to the hospital at about 1:00 in the morning and he was born by 4:40. Since I don't want to bore the skulls off of everyone, I will just say this...she had him vaginally (YEA!) and didn't need the epidural. Let me rephrase that...she desperately wanted the epidural as she was dilating from 5 cm to 9 in a half an hour, but luckily they couldn't get to her before she was fully dilated. I am so happy for her, and hope that it has finally healed the wound that having the C-section last time ripped into her soul. Rather than just rehash the whole event, in sordid detail, I just want to say, that from an outsiders point of view I am appalled at how women are treated as they birth in the hospital. Everyone was very nice there, of course, but there were these surreal moments in which I kept thinking to myself "does anyone else see how fucked up this is?". Example: The doctor checks Megan and she is 9 cm dilated, I help her get off the bed to stand and get rid of the rest of that lip of cervix. A few contractions later, the nurse says "you let me know if you feel the urge to push...we don't want you pushing". So I turn to her and say "is there any particular reason why she can't push when she feels the urge". The nurse says "well, we don't want her to push until we know she is 10 cm dilated". I stood there, and thought "it is one fucked up system, when you need the nurse to give you permission to do what your body is already telling you it is ready to do." Honestly, it is as if they they need to control the entire event, and only when they are satisfied that she is ready can she push. Honestly, they don't need to know how dilated she is, at all. It's ridiculous. It would be like someone saying "now, we don't want you to pee until we are satisfied that your bladder is full" To which you would be thinking "well, why do you need to know....I KNOW my bladder if full...doesn't matter if you do". GAH. Then there was the whole doctor having a conversation about how he doesn't like to work on Sunday nights, how it can be "hard" while Megan is doing the HARD work of pushing her baby out. ~rolling eyes~ I was so offended by that line of conversation that I just turned to Megan and told her how great she was doing, focusing just on her. I mean honestly...don't be a doctor if you don't want the weird hours. And certainly don't talk about how hard it is for you, while a woman is sweating and bearing down in front of you, as you sit on the stool doing pretty much nothing.

OK...that sounded like a rant...but honestly it was a very very good birth, and I am so amazed and proud of Megan. What a privilege to attend someone's birth.

Somebody is worth funding....

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:47:18 GMT

And that somebody is ME! WEEEEEEE I was awarded $10 000 today from Magic 99 up in Edmonton. I am talking to the guy up there and he says to me "we normally fund jazz and blues but you are just too talented not to fund".....CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????!!!!! Not only were those words so validating...so so validating, especially after my 2 times rejection from the Alberta Foundation for the Arts, but $10 000! To officially finish...well, mostly finish...my full length album. After I hung up, I jumped up and down and squealed. Yes, I did. Like a girly girl. That is how excited I am! He said the talented thing a few times, and I will treasure those words even more than the funding.

To say I am happy is a gross underrepresentation of the ecstatic joy I feel right now.

Full length CD...here I come!

Differences

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 01:41:16 GMT

Ye GODS have I been tired this week. So so tired. I am fighting something off I think...K and Melaine were sick this week, oh the joys of 4 kids ~le sigh~. All I want to do is to sleep, for days and days and days.

We were going to drive to BC this weekend, something I REALLY wanted to do, but I am pretty much on call for Meg's birth, so until she births, we can't go. It would have been nice to sit on the dock and listen to the relative silence. To walk the old road and see something green rather than the brown upon layer of brown that is Calgary in March.

So instead of driving through the pass, today we went to my mom's house for an Easter brunch. I felt....very out of place. For a lot of different reasons. Most of all, I am recognizing how different I am from the rest of them. About so many thing...environmentalism, music, children...everything. And difference is good...but when you feel like an "other", it can suck at times. RD says to me "how can they be so different from you? You are all related!". I don't know, honestly, at one time my brothers were everything to me. I would have done ANYTHING for them. I was very inclusive of them...did I just get tired? How do life paths split so far? K has been sick this week, so she was clingy and crabby. My parents are stupefied with her...you have all heard me rant about how they seem to like her the least of all the grandkiddies. I don't know what is worse...the comments...or the judgmental looks. I guess the comments. So I should count myself fortunate that today wasn't too bad on that front. Instead they were all amazed that my 2 year old niece can do a front roll. It's baffling to me....I guess because physical activities have never really been that appealing to me, so I don't value them as much as artistic stuff. My brothers are the opposite it seems. In the end, doesn't matter much. K is a great person...if they can't see it, too bad for them.

I brought my merch samples....I GOT THEM! This week. I knew this would happen, but my parents looked at me like I was stupid and said "do you really think you can make back your investment with these". I blink...and think to myself "why would I do it if I didn't think it was a possibility?". But hey, why be sarcastic...when you can just shrug and say "oh, I think it's going to be great". But enough about that...because I have my merch samples! And they are great! Honestly, I love them. So much. Can't wait to see all the different colors. WEEEE!

I can't even go into the stupidity surrounding the EP right now...because that would take forever. Instead I can say this...going with a new company...and it will be soon. I honestly can't wait because the graphics look A-MAZ-ING. Got hooked up with this lovely Australian sheila, who charged me so little it was ridiculous. She did a wonderful job and I can't wait to have THOSE as well.

I feel these days like an other. My perspective on the world has been slowly changing and now it feels noticeable, I feel outside of what people just take for granted. It can be a lonely place. Don't want to fit in, just to fit in. Just feeling like the odd man out. It comes with a lot of the spiritual stuff I have been looking into lately. The tree....thinking about the tree...a lot....

Smells like a Singapore Whore House

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:08:50 GMT

I was remembering today how my mother used to say that of my room when I would burn incense. ~laughing~ One day I am going to say it back to her, and that moment will be sweet. heh. Oh the memory...I could hear her voice as if she were right beside me, all because I was contemplating how to subtly scent my postcards.....

hehe

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:17:57 GMT

So, I have been thinking about the secret today...you know, the power of positive thinking. Here has always been my cynical non-positive thinking thought, that sometimes you just are not going to get what you want, because the universe has other plans for you. How do positive thought and destiny even fit together? Example, those crushes you had when you were young? The ones were you could barely breath if the object of your adoration so much as looked at you....the one you dreamed about, and thought about non-stop for months on end? How come even when you wanted something SO badly, it just didn't happen? Is it because you weren't positive enough, sure that it would happen, or maybe just because it wasn't meant to be. Maybe that's too specific for the secret...the whole, don't do a love spell for one specific person but for the person who is right for you thing. I mean, if it's your destiny for this one specific thing to happen to you, good or bad, isn't that going to happen regardless of your positive thoughts? I don't really have anywhere to go with it all...just pondering.

In other news...Ms. Crampy demands chocolate or candy or something that has the word "sugar" as the first ingredient....must resist the sugar cravings...they lead to the dark side...and by that I mean the dark chocolate side...mmmmm...

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:25:09 GMT

In an act that can only mean that I am a glutton for punishment, I decided that I would dye and make a blanket for Lainey this year. How soon I forget the tedium of months worth of work ~laugh~. Reds and yellows and oranges for my red girl Lainey. Because yellow is the easiest to dye I started there. Even though I KNEW better, I kept thinking that the fustic wasn't taking well, and ended up adding enough that the wool is VERY VERY yellow. Laine seems to like it though so I guess that is all that matters. I think next will be red, still have to order the stuff. Yes, yes, this is very boring to all of you who don't dye and don't care about dyeing. :P So moving on....

I am WAY crampy today. ~sigh~ menstruation...I mean it's not enough to have to deal with the messiness of it all, but cramps just seem like a stupid add on. Makes me think about this hypnobirthing class I am taking with Megan...you know where they tell you that pain comes solely from the fear of having pain. That your uterus is only doing what it is meant to do and when your muscles are doing what they are meant to do, they don't hurt. Ya, I know...don't get me started. And I am sitting there and cynically thinking "OK...well I am not afraid of menstruation and yet I still have menstrual cramps". To top it off, that is almost always how I know my period is COMING. So no fear there...just the uterus doing its painful thang. So ya, cramps...they suck.

Guess what? Oh come on...one little guess....no? OK well I GUESS I can tell you....I am going to have merch! It is perhaps a tiny bit premature to be thinking of merch, but I had this idea to do ceramic pendants with part of my logo, and then I found someone who made molds and then...well, I just ran with it. ooooooo...and the samples are IN THE MAIL! EEEE! I am so excited about it. They are lovely....so lovely. And to make it even better, I am stringing em on silk ribbon....~drool~ silk. Have you ever noticed that I use a lot of .....O_o. Back to the silk...mmmmmmm....silk....the samples for the silk ribbons is on its way too. I am stoked about them, and hopefully people will buy them at my shows. Otherwise you know what you all are getting for Christmas for the next 10 years. ~laugh~

I have more...but I need to practice...a lot...

BTW, they don't have as a mood CRAMPY. I think they should add it...

Whose a movie stah?

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 16:24:18 GMT

Karina says to me this morning, "my friend asked me if my mom was a movie star?". Me "what? why?". Karina "Because she thinks you are so beautiful". First....hello flattered. Second...~laughing~ ~laughing more~ ~tears coming from my eyes from laughing~ You know, that sweat pant, hoody, didn't comb my hair, frazzled because we are late AGAIN look is SO movie star. But very very sweet. So sweet. I am flattered :)

The BS of OB

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:05:07 GMT

OBs....what good are they really? Yes, yes, I realize that they have their place. But I am so sick of hearing their scare tactics on women which are just misleading and foster an environment of fear. All for whatever crazy agenda they have. Take Megan. She asked me to be her labor support person for her birth. Now, she is a VBAC, and yes, her first C-section was necessary. But her OB fills her with stats on the "risks" of uterine abruption for the vaginal birth while neglecting to give her any stats on the risks associated with C-sections. Instead he says to her "the risks in C-section are really only to the mother" as if that somehow makes it all better. I mean honestly! Oh, well, only she could die, so it's not really anything to concern oneself with. He says to her "I just want you to have the facts". Yea, except you only give her ONE set of "facts" without the other facts with which to make a true informed choice. Luckily Megan did some research and got the information herself, which support what everyone knows to be true...VBACs are WAY safer than a repeat C-section unless there is some underlying problem. Stupid OBs....they just piss me off.

Yes, that is my rant for today.

Tastes like the night sky

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:31:05 GMT

Naia says to RD the other day: my lollipop tastes like the night sky. It was licorice flavored. All I can say to that is wow...what a description for a 4 year old. Amazing.

This week has been really great in a lot of ways. I was recording with Doug on Monday, and the stuff he is doing with my music is beyond happiness. I could have listened to him all day. Which, really, I did ~laugh~. There aren't really any words that I can use to fully describe what it felt like to sing my songs, work on my songs, listen to Doug play piano to something I wrote. All day, I just kept thinking "I could do this every day". The sun passed over the house, and you just have these intense moments, where the sun is sitting low on the horizon bathing everything in gold, and I felt filled with that light. Filled with the light of creation and...of the completion of a cycle. I don't know if that makes sense, but from the conception of the songs to them then being given life, feels whole. There are really just ideas until they are being sung and played, as if the body of the notes is filling out. Anyway, it was great.

And to completely juxtaposition with that terrific feeling, my sense of not really belonging has been heightened this week. I remember this time when I was in elementary school, in gym class we were playing dodgeball. I suck at sports so of course I was hit and out, and then I got the ball and my chance to hit someone else and go back in. So, in my head, I thought I would psyche them out by slowly strolling around the perimeter, with the idea that it would make people nervous, not knowing who I would try to hit. The teacher then reprimanded me saying that it was stupid to not throw the ball right away, that I missed the window of chance to have the best likelihood to hit someone. Of course I felt stupid and really the feeling I had was that I thought I had a good strategy, but really I just didn't know the game at all. That's how I feel sometimes now. I don't know the game, nor how to play it. Especially in the music world. My "path" through music doesn't seem to be the one that funding agencies think is appropriate. That's my dharma...to do things my own way. One of the first things I could say was "I can do it myself" ~laugh~. I think that pretty much sums up my philosophy to life.

It's suburbia and religion and all these things that I feel intensely outside of. Some of my personal opinions seem so far outside of what other people think, and I am specifically thinking right now about how we think of our children and our rights over their bodies. I have had a number of conversations with a number of people in the last few weeks about really touchy issues like circumcision and GPS trackers in children. Every time I come away feeling as if I live in a completely different universe than other people. That other people don't even associate morality with issues such as those. I can't see any justification for cutting parts of your child off unless there is a valid medical reason to do so, mix that with religion and I can get all ranty. Oh, there is so much to say, but why alienate myself even more? There is this idea that we should all live and let live, which I agree with to some extent. On the other hand, if we don't stand up for what we think is right, lots of terrible things happen. Should we live and let live when a child is being beaten? Or sexually assualted? Should we live and let live if someone wants to bind the feet of their child? Personally I say NO FLIPPING WAY. Should we ignore practices we think are wrong because someone has a religious reason for it? That is a question I STRUGGLE with, a lot. I don't have any answer honestly. Especially because I am pagan and a lot of people think THAT is wrong.

These things all push me to a place where I feel alienated from most people. Plus driving down the street where every house looks like a box and is exactly the same color as the next.
~smile~

I am SO doing this one....fun!

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 17:14:51 GMT

Movie Meme
1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

1. Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm having sex with a white woman.
2. What about second breakfast? (LOTR-Fellowship of the Ring: Aurelia Dawn)
3. By Grabthar's Hammer, you will be avenged (Galaxy Quest: RD)
4. Buon giorno, Principessa! (Life is Beautiful: RD)
5. Inconceivable (Princess Bride: Aurelia Dawn)
6. This... this, the hollow at the base of a woman's throat, does it have an official name? (English Patient: RD)
7. Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves. (Interview with a Vampire: RD)
8. Do you know why you're afraid when you're alone? I do. I do. (Sixth Sense: Blue Maple)
9. Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking? (Zoolander: Aurelia Dawn)
10. Oh man! How'd you get the beans above the frank? (Something about Mary: RD)
11. In punishment for lack of an interesting pirate name, Peter shall walk the plank.
12. I've already wasted my whole life. I want to tell you with my last breath that I have always loved you. I would rather be a ghost, drifting by your side as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit. (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: RD)
13. Well I, for one, am v-v-very interested to see w-w-what's going to happen next.
14. Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.
15. Our war has waged for centuries, unseen by human eyes. But all that is about to change. (Underworld: Aurelia Dawn)

How stupid is this?

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:42:34 GMT

My conversation with AFA today.

AFA: Dear, we can't accept this submission
Me: Why not?
AFA: Because you clearly state that you recorded 4 of the songs prior to the start of the project
Me: Ummm..that was the demo
AFA: Yes, well, we can't accept that
Me: Ummm...how am I supposed to include a demo if I don't record one?
AFA: You are just supposed to record the songs and do nothing to them (which is not stated on their application form)
Me: But it's a demo...and you asked for a demo
AFA: Next time you need to ask for money prior to recording songs for the project
Me: I did!
Me: And, I am not asking for money for the ones already done, I am asking for money for the ones I haven't recorded yet
AFA: Sorry, next time ask for money for songs you haven't recorded
Me: But...but...demo...you....sputtering about them wanting a demo that I apparently I am not supposed to record and yet need to send....

Fucking AFA. HONESTLY....what kind of stupid system penalizes you for making your demos better? Honestly, doesn't everyone build on their demo? Isn't that the point of a demo?

2 years...and I am still enamoured

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:56:42 GMT

OMG was today busy! Busy little bees. I just had to come on though for a moment because it's Lucian's birthday today. My sweet little 2 year old. There is so much on my mind about him today, but I just don't have any energy tonight to write about it. It was go go go from 6:30 am this morning until 8:30 pm...so I am ready to drop. But I will add a few pics of my little boy of light. 2 years, since that sun filled morning, and that feeling I first had when I held him in my arms has never subsided: Joy, Light, Hope. It is a privilege to be his mother.

I did have time though to play in the snow on the way home from school today. The perfect snow. The kind of snow that you can make the most wicked snowballs with...which, of course, I did. And I wore my boots so I could jump in the snow, and make silly tracks and just enjoy a beautiful sunny day with lots of fresh pure snow.

The sweet smell of roses

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 23:20:30 GMT

All I can smell is the sweet fragrance of roses. That's what you get when you spend a day with lovely Isea chopping roses, boiling roses, pureeing roses, forming roses into beads and rolling said beads in rose oil. And it is a lovely smell, the epitome of beauty. The scent followed me to bed last night, all over my body, sighing into my pores, releasing the soft earthy aura through my dreams. So lovely. Thing is, that real rose is so much different than the synthetic...I can feel the sun upon which their lovely faces turned in adoration, and the rain fall upon their velvet petals. I can feel the thorns, protecting such loveliness and taste the dank earth which rooted their dreams. It's like opening a window and letting in a breath of fresh air in direct contrast to the cloying and claustrophobic scent of synthetic rose.

The beads are still drying and they smell....so....good. Lucian...the little....got on the counter and squished a few of mine. AHHHH! But most are OK....they should harden enough by tomorrow to string them and dry them in the oven.

Speaking of petals, there is this divine gown made of glorious silk that I tried on today which felt like wearing petals. it was gorgeous, but alas too small...and besides, where the hell would I wear a gown?

The anatomy of a dance party

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:02:49 GMT

Yes, we had a dance party for Karina's 8th birthday. No Raffi for us, full out dance music, complete with strobe light and fog machine. So fun! The kids arrive and I am sure they had NO idea what to do. They are all kind of looking around like "what?". I served the little misses....

KIDDIE COCKTAILS! AKA Shirley Temples...SO FUN! A few dancing games later and they are ALL into the dance party

It is at moments like this that I feel a bit like a fun mom. Because, hello, dance music and fog machine..I am SO there! I was dancing with the kids, and some of them were staring at me....like "WHAT is she doing?", but most just had a great time. It was super fun.

K is 8. 8!!!! Wow.

Funny

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:10:17 GMT

This morning, I tried to take Karina over to the neighbors house to see if they would take her to school with their little girl that also goes to school. That's how worried I was about Melaine. Melaine sees me getting my shoes on and starts to cry "Don't leave me mama". Naia comes up to me with her big solemn 4 year old eyes and says "Don't worry mama, I will take care of everyone while you are gone". SO CUTE.

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:50:25 GMT

I have to say that Salsa and Merengue totally rock! Or more like they undulate, waggle, and invite, and tease. LOVE IT! Too bad the salsa totally hurts my one stupid hip, you know the one the doctor fucked up at birth? Ya, it's sore afterwards, and then the next day I have a bit of a limp. Stupid hip. I DEFINITELY need to phone up Wolfheart and arrange something! Still though I am having so much fun...the kind where your eyes are bright and the smile won't leave your face, except of course when you are being all sultry....reow. What I want...is to be good enough to go to the Latin clubs and dance the night away. Now THAT would be fun.

Speaking of clubs, or lack thereof, Isabel wants to do Karaoke for her birthday....yup...that's right...so I am arranging that with my SILs. I think drinking will help. ~laugh~ It will be fun...funny being a singer, people DO NOT like you at those places. I will have to get up there and belt something out though...just for the hell of it. Anyone know a good place, cuz I have NO idea.

IT IS COLD! We all know that. Melaine was lying on the floor today..."my stomach, my stomach". She could barely walk. Me (in a panic) "OMG what if it's something serious". I barely decide to drive K to school, instead of keeping her home because I am thinking that I am going to have to take Melaine into the walk in or something. She is crying and she says it's not the vomity stomach ache, that it hurts SO much if I even touch her anywhere on her chest/abdomen. So I CARRY her to the car and we drive K to school. Then we get home, and I carry her to couch. 15 minutes later..."mommy, I am feeling a lot better, can I get off the couch". OMG with the drama! That girl is going to be an actor FOR SURE. ~laughing~

After this WICKED message from Aphrodite I am officially out of my spiritual funk. I feel happy..and whole and energetic and READY to do some stuff. First order of business...make a flipping chalice.....I was 10 seconds away from the PERFECT piece of cherry on ebay and this dude totally snagged it from underneath me. Crap. Never fear though, I will find the perfect piece of wood and when I do, it will be gorgeous.

I finished a new song! Yea me!

OK..kids need stories...me go read....

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 13:32:38 GMT

Your Score: Olenna Tyrell

You scored 210 Adaptability, 260 Humor, 300 Integrity and 200 Activity!

All men are fools if truth be told, but the ones in motley are far more amusing than the ones in crowns.

You are Olenna Tyrell.

Also known as the Queen of Thorns, you have quite the acerbic wit. Despite your unstoppable smart mouth, it is clear that you have a great amount of love for your family and friends. You are blunt and honest to those you like, but you don't think it's necessary to be truthful to those you don't. You are very perceptive and you have a fair amount of wisdom when it comes to people and politics. You can get away with being devious due to your innocent appearance. You enjoy social events, if only for how silly they are, and you always know how to make a grand appearance. You are caustic, calculated, and classy.

You are also similar to Tyrion Lannister and Oberyn Martell. Your polar opposite is Tywin Lannister.

Link: The Song of Ice and Fire Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(freedomdegrees)

Oh and...

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:57:38 GMT

Go check out my newly redone website...complete with awesome logo...

www.corvidmedia.com/sora

Moon madness

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:55:36 GMT

So I have this song, with chords and melodies and harmonies...and no words. I have been searching for the words for this song for years. Yes, years. It's pathetic. All I want is a song about the moon, about the tides moving through me and the way her light falls upon my body in the darkness. The way I feel while I stand under her radiance each and every flipping month, and can I find those words for my song...No. No. No. NO. ARGH. Honestly, how much have I written about the moon over the years? Let's not answer that because it amounts to a lot of trees being cut down. So why can't I find the words here? I have already written 3 sets of full lyrics and none of them are right. It's aggravating me to no end. I think I need to just sit down and brainstorm words for awhile. Stream of consciousness writing about what I need to say here. Yes, yes, that is what I am going to do right now.

Aside from that, I have been making a CD for K's dance party next week. Hilarious. Let me tell you it's hard to find awesome songs without explicit lyrics for a bunch of 8 year olds. Now me, I don't care that much about that, well, I do a bit, but honestly if my kids hear the word ass it's much more likely to come out of my mouth than that of a song, but I don't want a bunch of kids going home and having the phone calls saying "my kid is singing shake your ass for me". Hehe. But I have a CD...now to get out the strobe light....

Stupid song....grrrr...argh.....

WEEEEE!

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:25:12 GMT

OK...I am STOKED...PSYCHED...joyous. Do you know what my amazing husband spent the morning doing? The final javascript for my new website (not quite live yet, as I am waiting for one graphic to be finished), which has all these cool functionalities. Yes, yes, you will go and wonder what the big deal is, but it took awhile to get it doing what I wanted it to do. oooo...it looks so good...and the functions...so great! Just little touches, that you may not notice at first but that I think are way cool.

Just need my logo.....can't wait for the logo....wait until you see my logo! It is amazing...I love it.

Who has the best spouse in the world? That would be me...ME!